i permit you to call me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize