If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
