Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
