he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
