Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize