i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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