Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize