Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
home. puking in laundry basket.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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