somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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