If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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