Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
