I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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