Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
