Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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