problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
