Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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