so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
