Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
