I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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