I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
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not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
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I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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