Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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