i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize