You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
