Will you blow on my dice?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
