haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
