I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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