Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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