so let's talk penis.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
