come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
