You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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