he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
