I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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