Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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