I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
