Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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