You made me cry and you don't even care
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
