And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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