based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How naked do you want me to be?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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