i need an iv and a liver transplant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
