Sponge bath it is.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is Oprah even human
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
