My hand turned me down
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
