Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
