just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
