i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
whose parrot is this?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm really busy with my period
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