i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
