found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
