You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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