So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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