Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
