He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
