I molested 6 butterflies tonight
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
