I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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