bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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