so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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