Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
