note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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