He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
