yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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