Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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