he thought i was a dude.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize